Wash Your Hands & Say Your Prayers

Thursday March 5, 2020: My husband convinces me that we should throw together some bags and head to the beach a day early for spring break. This is very against my type A personality but I was somehow completely caught up on our laundry (in large part thanks to a minor surgery I needed a few days before which restricted me from basically every other mom duty except laundry... figures! Ha!) so I said ‘sure, why not’. We loaded the kids in the Tahoe and ventured south.

OBA was so calm and peaceful. We had a great time and while we were aware of the Coronavirus threat, it still felt pretty distant to us for most of the week. My current event, geography loving 5 year old doesn’t miss a headline though. He gets his love of his country and it’s history from his daddy but he gets the anxious worrier gene from his momma. Sometimes the combination of those traits has made for some heavy moments with him. At some point on our trip he overheard that a case had been confirmed in Florida just on the other side of Pensacola so when we told him we were going to enjoy a meal at the Flora-Bama Yacht club his panic began to surface.

“We can’t go there. We will get the Coronavirus! It’s on the line and it’s not safe! We can’t be close to Florida!”

A few trips to the dollar store with his GrandTom to arm him with hand sanitizer, some bribery, and a lot of reassurance convinced him that we were still going to be safe.

Fast forward to Thursday March 12: We pack our bags and head back home but the mood is changing fast. The number of confirmed cases continues to increase and people are suddenly buying out grocery stores. The first confirmed case in Mississippi had just been announced so naturally we were listening to news on the radio. Thomas pipes in to ask what they are saying about the virus. We tell him nothing new, not to worry and to just keep watching his DVD. He responds with:

“Yeah we are safe because the Coronavirus is in Florida and we are two states away now in Mississippi.”

Tommy and I glance at each other. Knowing that we have to tread lightly with this topic. Also knowing that we still need to be truthful so that when he does inevitably hear such news, the two people put on this earth to protect him will be within arms reach.

“Well buddy, actually they did confirm a case in Mississippi today, but it’s in Hattiesburg and they are taking good care of him and keeping people away.”

Thomas: “Oh, well that’s okay because that’s still far south from us right? And it still won’t get to Brandon?”

Tommy: “It’s about two hours away, yeah.”

Me: “Thomas viruses spread so quickly and so easily. Remember how we all brought the flu home from Disney World and a lot of us got sick? Germs are everywhere, but even if it makes it to Brandon. I promise you are still going to be okay. Don't worry buddy.”

He gets quiet for a minute and then we look back to see crocodile tears pouring from his baby blues and pooling on top of his quivering lip.

“Oh! Don’t be upset! We promise to protect you! Everything is going to be alright!”

Then he breaks... “No it’s not! The Coronavirus is going to come and I’m going to get it and I’m going to die! There’s nothing you can do to stop it! Nothing! I’m going to die from the Coronavirus!”

{Let me pause right here and say if you’re a momma that has ever had to have a conversation like this with a chronically or terminally ill child - you are made of super human strength beyond anything I could ever fathom.}

And then I broke too... I felt so helpless and out of control. I was put here to protect him yet he doesn’t feel safe. He’s right, I really can’t stop it. So I told him the only thing I knew to tell him.

“Thomas please don’t cry buddy. I know it sounds scary but we are going to be just fine! The Bible tells us over and over again not to be afraid! God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear. He’s always with us and He will protect you too. Jesus loves all the little children of the world and He doesn’t want you to be scared!”

Note: Because he’s a numbers kid, we also threw in the fact that kids under 10 are really the safest of us all. So now he’s super quick to point out your age if he thinks you’re in danger but if he tells you that you’re old I promise it’s only out of love! 😉

Since we’ve been home a number of things have changed. Spring break ‘extended’, a family wedding and my Sawyer’s birthday party cancelled. However the weather has been absolutely gorgeous and my kids have spent most of their days soaking up an abundance of fresh air and sunshine. Despite the changes, thanks to so many beautiful distractions Thomas hasn’t dwelled on his fears lately. He actually told his daddy on a scenic drive yesterday "Daddy, doesn't it feel so good to be alive?" Yes. Yes it does, buddy! It’s still a big ol' scary world out there with a lot of uncertainty but he’s home where he feels safe and for that I’m thankful.

A princess never lets a pretty dress go to waste!

Several times in the last few days I’ve played back that moment in the car. The pure terror in his face. The crippling fear ripping through his little soul and the doubt in his eyes despite my words of affirmation. He didn’t trust my words. He wanted to believe me but for a moment his faith in us was small.

It’s a moment that I’ve lived a thousand times before, just never on this side. Fear is the enemy’s weapon of choice against me. I have a Father sitting right in front of me, promising me that everything will be okay. Continually telling me not to be afraid yet so many times I’ve been that child allowing fear to cast a great shadow over my faith.

Do. Not. Fear. One of the most common themes in the Bible and it’s not just a suggestion. It’s a command. We are all living so much uncertainty right now but what an opportunity we have for the Church to get loud.

We’ve been ordered to stay home. Distance ourselves as much as possible from the outside world and it’s dangers. In other words.. BE STILL

Psalm 46:10 "BE STILL and KNOW that I am God."

We’re being called on both sides of Heaven to distance ourselves from the noise. Trust His plans for us. God’s got this. He’s got us.

I’m always amazed at how much the Lord teaches me through parenting. These babies truly are such a blessing in more ways than I ever imagined. So is this extra unexpected time with them.

Cupcakes for breakfast after Mom breaks the news that your birthday party is cancelled!

Speaking of parenting, for almost the past 6 years my only job has simply been to be a mom. Of those 6 years I have either been pregnant, nursing 24/7, or carrying a toddler that’s fixated to my hip. My children aren’t in extra curricular activities yet and while we really do love to travel as a family most of my days are spent at home focused around tiny humans. So for all of my fellow momma’s of littles out there that are suddenly home with kids all day here’s what I have for you:

If you think you just scored a bunch of free time to knock out your entire house project list, pump the brakes sister. Nothing can pop your productivity bubble quite like the toddler emptying every single kitchen drawer while you spend a half hour sorting through the WWE match that you just witnessed from the other two over who had the fifty cent stuffed dolphin first.

If you think you just scored two extra weeks of vacation... well then, bless your heart.

Peep the drama causing dolphin.

Empty all the drawers.

Manage those expectations.

A million things will be vying for your attention. You likely won’t get everything done. There will still be boxes left unchecked on your to-do list. It’s okay, you did a great job and those tasks will still be there tomorrow.

Be flexible.

I’ve seen so many rigid ‘Daily Schedules’ floating around this past week that it makes my head spin! Remember I’m a type A personality. I thrive on routine and organization and I do think structure is important but back to what I said about managing those expectations. Unless you are already a home-school momma these are likely uncharted waters for most of us (me included, I’ve been a teacher and a mom but teaching my own children is a completely different ball game!) Its new to our kids as well so we will all have to slowly find what works best. Don’t let expectations of what you think your day should look like overwhelm you.

Pray.

for guidance. for grace. in thanksgiving for the beautiful moments you get to share together and in forgiveness for the ones that may not make you as proud.

Breathe.

One day at a time! Each morning brings new mercies and you’ve got this!

Lastly if all else fails, just remember to "wash your hands and say your prayers because Jesus and germs are everywhere!" STAY HOME and STAY WELL, friends!